It hasn't been a lack of either motivation or inspiration that's kept me from keeping up with blog posts this week. I have been tired ever since our return from the ocean. Last night, I had intended to write about how good it felt to return to yoga, and how right it feels to drift away from my church - and yet, I've been wondering about other congregations - but I had an early playtime with Gladden, and then I fell asleep on the couch while watching Professor Fred's Movie Marvels. I've been going to be earlier than normal all week. As I write this, I'm thinking about how good it's going to feel to lay down on the futon and close my eyes, and it's not even 9 o'clock.

The ocean seems to have had the opposite effect on Gladden. He is energetic and happy. He seems to be feeling better than he has in a long time. He's been wanting playtime three or four times a night. He's been exploring and climbing a lot. Phillip attributes it to the change of scenery. Whatever the cause, it's good to see.

I don't especially care for the style of music. I don't like the venue. But it is Martin's show, and I feel an obligation as a family member to be there and support him.

It's this Tuesday night, which is also the night of my Church Council meeting. I don't feel motivated to be there, but I feel an obligation to go, since I have made a commitment.

Phillip solved the dilemma quickly when he pointed out that I am the only current Church Council member who has never missed a meeting. (Typically, at least three out of the twelve are absent.)

So, I'll miss a Church Council meeting, for the first time ever, this Tuesday. My only concern is that, given my present state of mind, skipping one meeting will make it that much easier to skip a second meeting when something else comes up.

Today was, of course, my first Halloween with my present clinic. When the clinic first announced plans for a Halloween party, I didn't have much interest. Halloween is probably my least favorite holiday. It does nothing for me, and it's not a holiday I can ignore. But then one morning, as I was waiting for the bus, I looked into the window of Hot Topic and saw a nurse costume - a vinyl fantasy nurse costume. I thought it would be a funny costume for my clinic's party, despite the fact that the party theme was "The 80's." I ran the idea past Phillip, and he liked the idea, too. So, one day when he and I were out and about, we stopped into Hot Topic and I bought the nurse hat and the plastic stethoscope that came with it. Later, I found a white shirt at Value Village to go with it.

As Halloween approached, I realized that I'd somehow lost my enthusiasm for my nurse costume. It felt thrown together, and I didn't look forward to being asked how it fit the 80's theme. I'd tried on the hat maybe twice.

Then, as we were driving home yesterday, somewhere between Tacoma and SeaTac, an idea suddenly came to me and I spoke it aloud to Phillip. Instead of the nurse costume, I'd wear the southwest cowboy/desperado costume - pancho, gaucho hat, and spurs - I'd worn many Halloweens ago, and I'd explain to my co-workers that I thought the theme was the 1880's. I could tell that Phillip wasn't too happy with my ditching the nurse costume, but he laughed at my interpretation of "The 80's." He supported my decision, even if he didn't agree with it. (That perception later proved to be incorrect - he actually did like my costume choice.)

My cowboy costume seemed to get good reactions for co-workers and patients. I did get tired of people constantly asking me who I was supposed to be, however. (When did Halloween become about dressing up as somebody?) Halloween is probably my least favorite holiday.

I ran into Cliff at the bus stop this morning. After we'd been chatting for a while, he asked me if I was in church yesterday. At first, I wanted to avoid the subject, so I explained that Phillip and I were at Long Beach yesterday. Cliff said there was something he wanted to ask me, but since I wasn't at church, then I wouldn't be able to answer it. Suddenly I felt the need to unload. "No, I haven't been to church in many Sundays," I added.

Cliff seemed genuinely concerned when he asked, "Are you feeling disappointed in our church?"

"Yes, I am," I answered. When Cliff asked me why, I told him that I've been feeling unwelcomed and unsupported there. Cliff suggested that I talk with one of our pastors about how I'm feeling. I told him I might do that, but I need to sort out my feelings first.

"Well, I welcome and support you," Cliff told me. I thanked him, and the 60 appeared at the corner.

Gladden T Hart seems to be relieved to be home. I also think he was a little upset with us last night - he accepted playtime, but kept to himself most of the time. Gladden does not like traveling. (Strange lights, strange smells, etc...) He was in a more sociable mood this morning.

There is something we always forget to pack when we go on a trip. This past weekend, poor Gladden got the brunt of our mis-packing. Not only did we forget to pack his salad, we also forgot all of his dishes. Also, I forgot to bring a heavy shirt - one that Gladden won't get his claws stuck in - for playtime at Shakti Cove. The shirt wasn't a problem, and the salad was purchased at the Ocean Park grocery store. The dishes proved a bit of a challenge. We found some cheap plastic cups at the grocery store, and we used an ash tray we found in the (non-smoking) cabin for a water dish. The plastic cups turned out to be too lightweight and too flared at the top. Poor Gladden couldn't get to the food without tipping the cups over. Later, we found the right kind of glass cups at Jack's General Store (Ocean Park).

We invited the Shakti Cove owners - Celia and Jamie - over Friday night to meet Gladden. They wanted to know what a sugar glider looks like. Gladden was well-behaved and charming. He even climbed on Jamie quite a bit.

I don't know where to begin, what to include in this too-brief post, and what to save for later. We left Seattle Thursday morning at 9:00 and, after stops in Raymond and South Bend, arrived at Shakti Cove, in Ocean Park, at 2 in the afternoon. We'd asked for a different cabin this time - not because we didn't like Cabin 9, the "Angel" cabin - but because we were curious about what other themes Shakti Cove had to offer. They gave us Cabin 7, the "Eagle" cabin. I preferred the angels - eagles have a negative image for me - but we liked the layout of Cabin 7, with its bedroom and living room a little more separated from each other.

There were things we did this time that we didn't do in 2003. We toured Oysterville. We ate at The Ark. (In 2003, the name scared us. This time, we went there on several recommendations, and loved it.) We cooked a dinner in the cabin. We spent an hour on the Ocean Park library computer. Before we left this morning, we toured a lighthouse at Cape Disappointment. And there was geocaching this time. Before we left, I picked out nine caches in Raymond, South Bend, Long Beach, Ocean Park, and Oysterville. We looked for all nine, and logged only one Did Not Find.

We didn't tour any cranberry farms this time.

There were things we did again, and will probably do the next time. We walked on the beach. We toured Marsh's Free Museum. We window-shopped up and down Long Beach.

We wanted rain, and we got it on Friday. It was not rain like we have here in Seattle - rain that lasts for days. It was rain that came and left in an instant. Five minutes of sunshine, ten minutes of drizzle, ten minutes of sunshine, twenty minutes of downpour, and so on. It was beautiful. It was beautiful to watch the rain move in from the ocean.

It was a perfect, peaceful, restful extended weekend. We are both exhausted.