I'm having trouble remembering the little things lately. The lightbulb in the refrigerator. To make bread. To write a thank-you letter. To tell Phillip that Google's email service was not an April Fool's hoax. Something else. I need to get organized better.

Book eight: Worlds' End arrived at the library today. Like Dream Country, which I didn't enjoy as much as the others in The Sandman series, this one is also a collection of barely connected stories that don't feature Dream or the other Endless as major characters. So I'm approaching it with some skepticism.

I may be surprised, though.

NOVA just aired Flying Casanovas, a show about Bowerbirds. These are amazing animals. The males build amazingly elaborate and original "earthworks," with color schemes and geometric patterns, for the sole purpose of attracting females. The females raise young their own, with no help from the males, so their choice of a mate seems to be based solely on artistic critique.

No wonder Darwin was so baffled by bowerbirds.

All right, one quick reading and I'll get back to work. This is the three-card spread, with the Robin Wood Tarot (no reversals).

Card 1 (the past) - King of Wands: A strong-willed and fair-minded person. A motivator, able to achieve a lot.
Card 2 (the present) - Three of Swords: The darkest hour before the light. The need to deal with the pain, examine what went wrong, and move on.
Card 3 (the future) - Queen of Pentacles: A person able to adopt a practical approach to material matters. An increase in creativity.

That first card is still fuzzy to me. The second card is so right on it's freaky. The third card is also accurate, I think.

Interview Windows - the best and worst story of my life - was mailed to Tin House Magazine this morning.

Scents are the strongest unlockers of memories. I don't remember where I heard or read that, but I believe it. When I opened a new box of Celestial Seasonings® True Blueberry™ Herb Tea, I smelled only dull cardboard at first. But then I opened the paper wrapping inside and the scent of herbs full of Earth mysteries lit up my nose, and I thought about the second story apartment I had on Sprague Street, way back in Ellensburg. My tiny kitchen there was stocked with herb teas, because, like a lot of people trying to become vegetarians on their own, I thought that going meatless meant you had to buy all of your groceries at a health food store, and somehow I thought herb teas what you bought at health food stores.

My 2004 tea/tisane log:

1. yerba maté, 1 January
2. genmaicha, 9 January
3. South African Rooibos (with honey crystals), 10 January
4. chamomile lemon herb, 15 January
5. Northwest blackberry, 17-19 January
6. lime herbal teasan, 6 February
7. aged Earl Grey, 17 February
8. black cherry tea (organic Ceylon tea with black cherry flavor), 5 March
9. black tea blend (organic), iced, 17 March
10. oolong, 19 March
11. iced green tea with apple, peach, ginger, and elderberry juices, 21 March
12. artificially flavored "raspberry tea", iced, packed with dyes, preservatives, and possibly tea, 24 March
13. True Blueberry™ herb tea, 19 April

When I suddenly become quiet and still these days, at the table before lunch or in the pew before service, friends wonder if I'm praying or meditating. I wonder what the difference is.

There is a difference, of course. In one, you're seeking answers from without. In the other, you're seeking answers from within. Or are you? In either case, where do the answers come from?

I don't know.